Cute Things with Douchebags

Guys, this is for real

2009-03-03T18:33:00.004-05:00

As you may or may not have noticed, this blog has slowed down considerably. Mainly because I'm too lazy to photoshop cute animals onto random pictures of douchebags on a daily basis. Also because it shouldn't be this hard to find real life examples of cute things and douchebags together. Here's a news report to prove me right.

This is fucking ridiculous right?! I mean, look at that "bong." What's it made out of, a car battery? Also, I still can't wrap my head around the image of a cat inside a bong. You're suppose to fill those things with water, dipshit.

Also, is this what journalism is reduced to these days?! A man doing a stand-up outside what looks to be a police station, in the snow, to cover a cat bong story! And that's the first item after the commercial break?! Fuck! This is sad.

Ugh, this is so fucking embarassing

2009-02-24T12:30:00.000-05:00

When the cute thing acts kinda like a douchebag

2009-02-23T12:26:00.001-05:00

You got served, parrot edition

2009-02-20T12:26:00.004-05:00

Try resisting the cat's pleading eyes

2009-02-19T12:29:00.001-05:00

Not a boy; not yet a douche

2009-02-18T12:35:00.000-05:00

Shit! I don't know how to get down

2009-02-17T12:19:00.003-05:00

Hey, can you put some effort into this?

2009-02-16T13:53:00.002-05:00

Pop Quiz: how many pandas do you see?

2009-02-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

Peer pressure works on koalas too

2009-02-12T12:37:00.001-05:00

I thought I'd get a better entourage after Madagascar 2

2009-02-11T12:30:00.000-05:00

This house party is so fucking lame

2009-02-10T12:30:00.001-05:00

I have faith in my wingman. Don't you?

2009-02-09T13:30:00.000-05:00

Here, my friend Serghei got you another vodka redbull

2009-02-06T13:30:00.005-05:00

Spotted: a live one

2009-02-06T12:37:00.003-05:00

This blog started as a crude joke at the pub (in case you can't tell). Basically, it went like this, "Hey you know how there are so many blogs out there making fun of douchebags? And you know how there are so many blogs about cute animals sleeping/eating/making funny faces? Well, wouldn't it be awesome if there's a place that combines those two things together?" "Yeah!" "You really think so?" "Yeah!' "Do you want some more beer?" "Yeah!"

Unlike most plans hatched while inebriated, this one actually came into fruition. But the blog is kept intentionally bare. I mean, cute things hanging out with douchebags, there's an internet meme equivalent of a one-liner joke. There's no reason to devote more attention beyond the shoddy photoshoped pictures. The pictures, pre- or post-manipulation, are funny enough without words.

The whole concept is ridiculous. The half-assed photoshop job is ridiculous. The source material is ridiculous. This is basically a giant Katamari ball of ridiculousness.

Which is why it's even more ridiculous when this picture shows up—an actual "cute thing with a douchebag" photo! In a reputable, national publication no less!

[Courtesy: NYT]

Wow! Wow! WOW! You mean, this thing that I came up with when I'm drunk might have some merit to it?

Look, all the components are here: cute dog, dubious tattoos, muscular biceps, tangerine glo, dimly-lit background and ... wait ... are those tinted glasses? (There's even a fedora and pimp cane in other photos of the same series.)

But then some of you might jump to his defense. The poor guy barely survived a career purgatory of bad movies and gross plastic surgery. Cut him some slack. He's pretty decent in The Wrestler, right? He's just hanging out with his dog (and maybe even the dog that meant the world to him when he was alone). He's smart enough to pull out of Wrestlemania during an Oscar campaign (though dumb enough to accept the invite in the first place). Besides, French people apparently loves him. French people would not give out their seal of approval to a douchebag, right?

So let's put this into a straw vote: did this picture fulfill all the "cute thing with douchebag" parameter? That is, is Mickey Rourke douchebag-y enough to belong to this blog?

And while we're at it, are chihuahuas still considered as "cute things"?

Hey bro-friend, can you spot me?

2009-02-05T15:30:00.003-05:00

That bear is reaching for our wine. Stop it!

2009-02-03T20:00:00.006-05:00

Won't anybody step in and save this panda?!

2009-02-02T21:53:00.006-05:00

2 guys, 1 cub

2009-02-02T19:30:00.002-05:00

The raccoon comes with the $2 highball

2009-02-02T18:48:00.002-05:00

Even the cat is disgusted by your Jager throat tat

2009-02-01T21:15:00.003-05:00

Shiba inu love in this club

2009-02-01T20:06:00.001-05:00

Ugh, I wish you would stop dropping cigar ash onto my coat

2009-02-01T02:08:00.001-05:00